Tuesday, August 30, 2011

We're gay, we have candles out the wazoo.

As I'm typing this, it's getting dark outside. Unfortunately, that means it's getting dark inside too. You see, we were in Hurricane Irene's path - Eastern CT, to be exact. We lucked out and didn't get all the rain they had been forecasting (that fell to our west) but we got wind. Boy, did we get wind. we got crazy fucking wind. We lost power (and a good portion of one of our trees) about 12 hours ago.

Last night, Kitty Mom, my dad's girlfriend (and my aunt - yes, it's a weird family I belong too - but it's not like we're inbred or anything), texted us, to make sure we were ready. She had seen my Facebook post about how we were ignoring the mandatory evacuation. When we found out it went something like this:

me: Uhm, Punk? An emergency services truck just drove down the street broadcasting an announcement that we need to evacuate by 6pm.
Punk: Fuck that. We have a gas stove. We're hunkering down.

A knock on the door a few minutes later proved to be our across the street neighbor Rob. As we all talked, he echoed Punk's sentiments. Then again, he & his wife are also the proud owners of a $2000 generator. Fuckers. Shortly after that Heather, our next door neighbor, called. She had also decided to stay put. Our other next door neighbor, Mrs. Duncklee, didn't call. She died a few months back, so that's probably a good thing. Not that she died, but that she didn't call - because I would have freaked the fuck out if a ghost called to ask if we were staying or leaving.

Oh, so anyway, yes, my father's girlfriend/my aunt texted to make sure we were going to be okay. She's adorable, and was all like "You have batteries, and water, and candles?" I could only text back "We're gay, we have candles out the wazoo." 

Sure enough, we lost power 12 hours ago, and now it's getting dark. Our house looks like something out of a Stevie Nicks video, with candles burning everywhere. The food in the fridge may be slowly spoiling, but the great room smells like pears. And freshly mown grass. And grapefruit with sage. Yeah, we're gay. And we have the candles to prove it.

But damn I miss the interwebz.

P.S. The story about how my dad's girlfriend is also my aunt is really NOT that weird. Really.


  1. OK, I have to ask: are we related? Because my cousin (who is somehow both my second and third cousin) just started dating my other cousin (who is also his cousin) a few months back. Which I think would make my story similar to your dad's girlfriend/your aunt vaguely similar. This sort of thing simply can't happen that much along the eastern seaboard in the 21st century, can it?

    No, I am not from Kentucky.

  2. Families. Can't live with them, and it's still illegal to kill them in 37 states (not including American Samoa.) Seriously though - I do love my family, despite our assorted weirdness! But I don't think we're related, which obviously means we can never date.

    But I did once (jokingly) forbid my father from marrying Kitty. I told him "I cannot socially afford to have a sister/cousin. It's too southern." Luckily he laughed.

  3. I love my family, too. Honest. I love the most the stories I have after we all spend some time together. Sadly, too many of them happened before I had a blog. Which, now that I think of it, is really rude of them. I mean, what's the POINT of a knock-down, drag-out fight after a funeral (in front of the priest and in view of the crucifix) if SOMEONE can't blog about it, you know?

    I like to tell people we're "Kentucky Italian."

  4. Kitty is a hoot. And regular people are boring. I'd rather be from our side of the crazy fence any day of the week!

  5. hahah I laughed so hard at the Mrs. Duncklee part!
    Not that's she's dead, but the idea that a ghost might call you mid-storm.
    I hope all is ok now!