Apropos of nothing...

Random thoughts:

I have a lot of shit on my laptop. It's a 2009 15" MacBook Pro, and I love it to death. But really, I need to clean it up. I have dozens of weird random images on my desktop - many for blog posts. Here's one of the stranger ones:



I just installed Lion, and so far, I think I like it.

I'm creative, caring, know how to make a mean cosmo, and am occasionally clever. Those are the plusses. I'm a procrastinator, I hate conflict, I'm mildly ADD, and am absent minded . Those are the minuses. I love reality TV, reading on the john, I'm a happy drunk, and can't burp. Plusses or minuses - you decide.

I'm blogging in my underwear, sipping a delicious glass of Kono Sauvignon Blanc. I'm also watching Big Brother - Rachel should be shot at dawn. Just a little slice of life insight.

Speaking of which - Punk & I have a side business called Slice of Life. It's an online t-shirt company with designs by and for foodies. Check us out!

My nephew just married his long-time girlfriend/fiancee last weekend. Unfortunately, Punk & I had to miss it, due to work. But we are psyched to officially welcome Lady to the family!! Hi Danielle Councilor! I saw Jodie's pictures - you were (are!) beautiful!

I'm also an avid computer gamer - I love World of Warcraft, even if I've barely had the chance to play it in the last few months. Yes, I'm a geek.

One of the the things I've learned I need to work on doing in my blog posts (thanks for the great examples, Jen!) is really to tell a story. Beginning, middle, end. And of course, to be entertaining.

Random thoughts, out....

You made me fucking swear!

Apparently I drove a woman to say fuck, twice.... Details to follow!

Okay, first, some background. Punk owns a restaurant, and one of the things that we do every year is run a booth at local food festivals. We sell fried dough & clam fritters. Its exhausting work, but the money is (weather permitting) good, and, for me at least, it's kind of a fun change of pace.

This weekend the festival was Sailfest - 40-50 thousand people, rides, booths, food, bands, etc. And at our booth, as I already said - fried dough & clam fritters. I'm usually at the front of the booth - taking the money - yelling back the order, etc. I'm the nice one, so I'm the best choice, lol. One of the things we get - a lot - are questions. What are clam fritters? (a dropped batter made with chopped clams, salt, pepper, dill, etc). The more sarcastic question is often "Are there clams in your clam fritters? We jokingly answer, usually, "We usually just dip one by a string in the batter as we make it. If it falls off, it's your lucky day!". We want to say, "Yes, you retard, there are. Are you hinting that you think we're ripping you off?"

So, the story. An older biker couple came up tot he booth & ordered fritters. Didn't ask any questions, but they were just a little... weird. But they seemed okay - as they left, I actually told one of the guys in the booth "sometimes the weird ones turn out to be the best customers." Yeah.....  about 30 minutes later, they come back, and she looks me in the eye and this is what I get from the woman. "You fucked me with the clam fritters. There weren't any clams in them, you took the clams and ran them right past! I can't believe you did that - they were terrible. I hate swearing but they were so bad you made me fucking swear!" I couldn't resist. my only response to her was "Well, in that case I'm really sorry, because I think I just made you swear twice!"

As if I need more proof of my ADD.

Or maybe it's early onset alzheimer's. You be the judge. I know I wasn't drunk. I've been drunk this early in the morning before, and it didn't feel like that.

This morning after showering, I had started my regimen. Don't laugh. I'm a gay man with rosacea - I need a regimen. Shit, shower, shave (I shave in the shower - anyone else? I don't, however, shit in the shower - that's just gross.), dry off, hair gel, cortisone cream for my face, deodorant, moisturize, cologne. That's the gist of it. Of course, I could write a whole separate blog about my shower routine.

Anyway, I was getting ready, and I was lost in thought. I was dreaming about winning the lottery, thinking about finishing cleaning/organizing for our big party this weekend, looking out the window at the cute jogger, etc...  I had just put a big dab of hair gel on my fingertips.... and proceeded to rub it all over my face. Sigh...

ADD? Absent mindedness? Alzheimer's? I don't know, but either way, my life is a string of these events. I'm sure by the time I'm in the home, I'll have a brain like a sieve. On the plus side, I'll make new friends every day.

Weekend plans: Our big Summer party blowout! over 100 ppl, booze, food, and fireworks! And nighttime bear skinny dipping. It promises to be epic.

 

Update: Today I put hair gel in my hair. I consider this progress.

No one else wants a slice of Lemon Cake?

(Followed by, in the highest imaginable sing song soprano voice)  Randy: It's going to be delicious!



The cake is, ironically, the leftovers. The best part of being married to a chef is, obviously, the food. ITake breakfast. I can get up 45 minutes before he does, get coffee going, start frying bacon, get everything laid out, and he will come down, revise the menu, and, I kid you not, 5 minutes later an amazing brunch is ready. He is that good.

But back to the cake. Punk will go through phases. Cakes happen to be something that he's into making recently. But he doesn't make a box cake. It's a 4 layer extravaganza with an italian buttercream frosting, complete with piped roses & decorations. FOR THE TWO OF US.

So dessert was leftovers. For dinner (Punk & I, Randy & Jason, Joe, & Rena), he made Grilled BBQ Chicken, Corn on the Cob, Pasta Salad, Caprese Salad, and House Made French Fries (splashed w/ Fluer de Sel). I'm generally smart enough to stay out of the kitchen when he cooks. My place is, obviously, the bar.

Tonight, at the bar, we had 2 specialty drinks available. Black Currant Cosmos (my choice), or Fresh Strawberry & Pineapple Frozen Daiquiris, Almost everyone else chose that. More cosmos for me.......

Friday, 4:30. I refuse to work anymore.

Friday afternoons at work, especially in the summer, suck.  It's really that simple. I've decided to boycott the last 30 minutes of my work day & instead post here.

Most fridays Lauren, god bless her, will go out & pick up nachos & dips of some sort. Maybe she's taking it from our clients - I don't know, and I won't ask her. I'm afraid the supply of snackiness (which also includes munchkins) will dry up & everyone will blame me for rocking the boat. Today it was doritos, salsa & some nacho cheese crap, which prompted this exchange:

Me: The dregs of nacho cheese dip in a bowl looks like something a cat threw up.

Colin (grabbing a chip & scooping): And yet I continue to eat it.

Some Fridays, if we're lucky (and the big bosses aren't around) She'll bring in a 6 pack or two of beer, and a bottle of wine. Today is not one of those days. I can live with that, but I still refuse to work anymore. My client's a douche, so I don't really feel compelled to bust my ass for him. Take that, client!

Bring on the weekend! 

Abandon sobriety, all ye who enter here...

This is my umpteenth attempt at starting a blog. Why give it another try? Why not. I've come across some exceptionally funny ones recently (thanks, Joe from The Gay Gasp and Jenny from The Blogess for the inspiration!) that made me want to start poking around at the keyboard, like a dog in heat looking for somplace to stick his red rocket. In other words, I'll occasionally hit the sweet spot, but only after I spray all over a bunch of non essential items.

There's a lot I don't know yet about what this blog will turn into, but I do know this: My grammar & punctuation will fail. I will (often) blog drunk. I will blog in bed, half asleep (much as I am now). I will be rude, crude & socially unacceptable. I will be NSFW. I will try to be funny. I will actually be funny sometimes. I will over share, over think, and over write. I will talk about my life with no (well, few - I do want to keep my job) holds barred. I will, in all likelihood, occasionally piss off some of my friends and family (They will forgive me. I'm a very forgiveable person.)